Going Into Marriage?

Going Into Marriage?

                    A good way to start is....   

                                   Never Hate Each Otherﷺ.  

                 

In The Name of Allah The Eternally Merciful The Especially Merciful

Today's "Essence of Life" is dedicated to those in marriage, thinking of getting married, about to get marry especially in recent times. 

A poetic statement: 

Marriage is not meant for stupid people.

But stupid people get married anyway

Marriage is not for fools

But foolish people get married anyway

Marriage is not for the silly ones

Silly ones get married anyway

But I tell the intending couple.......

Happy marriage is not meant to be a long dance to the blue Danube

But you can make your marriage a lullaby for you, yours  and the household

Wedding ceremony is cost expended, 

Romance in marriage is drama acted, but 

Happiness in marriage cannot be bought, but 

it is also not free of cost

Marriage is like a bed

As you lay it so you lie on it

Make your bed clean and neat, sweat dream become your and for yours truly

 

Marriage,

  It is not meant for the arrogant too. The stupid and arrogant I tell you will make a mess of boiled egg.

For a marriage to breakup or breakdown, one or both of the partners is either arrogant, foolish or arrogantly foolish.

What is obvious:

It does not matter whether the man is good or the lady is nice, a stupid husband will mess up a clever wife and an arrogant wife will mess up a patient husband. 

Way Out and Maintaining Balance:

When the wife notices the husband is angry, let her appease him

When the husband notices his wife is not pleased with him, he should appease her.

That to me is the reason for coming together. So said one of our noble predecessor 

From The Messenger of Allah:

Never hate each other; never be jealous of each other; never think ill of each other; never boycott each other.  Always remain brothers/sisters unto each other, o servants of Allah. (Muslim)

High Expectation:

The families expects so much from each spouse

The friends both wife and husband expects so much

The truth is that it is when both couple are stable the family is said to build a home. Expectations of people should not be a priority

The Spouses:

The couple rightly so expects so much from the other; Rightly so. 

What couple in marriage need to know is that favors from Allah are not evenly distributed. The need for coming together is to compliment one another especially in terms of needs or lacks, and this needs or lacks varies from time to time.

Patience and Tolerance are not evenly available virtues:

While some are easy to please, some are difficult to please while some are very difficult to please

While some are reasonable, some are very sensible and some are very sensitive 

Marriage is a potpourri of discoveries. In marriage, read yourselves

To those that care to listen to voice of reason, marriage is "work in progress"

Health, wealth, and longevity are as available as Allah wills it and apportion it.

The most intelligent of the two spouse does not determine whom will be financially up

These are blessings Allah determines as He pleases.

The duty of one is the right of the other.

The right of one is therefore the duty of the other

When the expectation is within reason and reliance is on Allah

Your family operates on autopilot whether in scarcity or surplus

Jealousy is a set back

"Beware of jealousy

For verily it destroy good deeds the way fire destroy wood"

What You Need Remember:

"To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth 

And Allah has power over all things" (3:189)

The Muslim Couple Prayer among other prayers:

"Our Lord give us in this world 

That which is good 

And in the hereafter, that which is good

And protect us from the fire of hell" (2:201)

Link:Islamicfamilyfoundation.org

Again The Prophet Speaks:

 "A pious wife who helps you in religious and worldly affair is better than all treasures" Sahih Al-Jami 5355

The essence of life is for you to know that when going into marriage make up your mind to....

Never hate each other; never be jealous of each other; never think ill of each other; never boycott each other.  

If any of this is about to happen or has happened seek help.

At the end of the day:

People may give you great advice, but ultimately, only Allah gives perfect Guidance.

Thanks to Allah for guidance, continuous blessing and peace to the best of mankind and I pray it extend to the sincere followers of the Deen till the day of kiyyamah 

Grow Old Age and in Your Marriage

There is no shame in growing old as the only other alternative is to die young.

Doer of Right Against Wrong Doer

                 Doer of Right Against Wrong Doer

                              Welcoming Both Equally

                                       Is Against Natural Justices

     

In The Name of Allah The Entirely Merciful The Especially Merciful

Evil have always been a coward. The devil is forever weak. It has power only on those that are weak of Faith. With Faith and sufficient courage, truth usually defeat evil.
Recent Experience:
The terrorist are dressing like mad people which I think they are, it is better for the intelligence network to act like them; that is pretending to be mad. The African adage says, "to catch a monkey you have to behave like a Monkey!

The ironies:

Everyone wants to be treated nicely. Even the one that disrespect you will not hesitate to tell you that he deserve to be respected. 

A husband has the capacity to do good or evil

A wife has a choice to do good or evil

A head of unit, division organization or Ministry, Department and Agencies (MDAs), State Governor, Legislator, Governor or President; each occupier of these offices have a choice to either do good or evil.

It is an individual choice. The fact is that whoever does a good act, deed it to his own soul. Whosoever does evil, does it to the loss of his own soul

Meaning that it is the doer of evil that is at a loss. The truth is when you do good, you reap goodness. 

The dummy
If you have ever been told that the poor, the ill-literate or the artisans are the common criminal, know that you have been sold a dummy. 

But First Let all hasten on the Qur'an advice:

 "When the Qur'an is read, listen to it with attention, and hold your peace, that you may receive mercy" 7:204

The Unchanging Truth:

In Islam, truth is Constant. What are the unchanging truth?

Allah is One- Meaning that there is a Creator for the creation

Prophets and Messengers are true. The last is Muhammad

Birth and Death are true- Denying it does not mean it has not happen or it will not happen

Resurrection is true- That the dead are not risen yet does not mean it will never happen. it will happen

Accountability on Judgment Day is truth

If you do not belief in these aforementioned. That is when you are called an unbeliever. 

If you claim Faith, that you belief, while you are committing evil or sinning, you are either a sinner, a criminal or both.

Consider These:

A male remains a male even if he puts on earring or appear feminine 

A female remains a female not minding when and if she succeeded in abusing her personality by transgender surgery. She remains a female

The leader is the leader among his peer, not minding whether the group is clean or criminally minded

In all sphere of life, profession or calling, the people have the tendency to do what is right as well as the capacity to do what is wrong.

So long as you have blood flowing in your veins, you need to by choice decide to do it right.

As for those who on purpose and by choice are evil doers, the Nation also should have a place for them in the institution, Prison. Let them serve the term either in the place of their birth or Church / Mosque where he/she is well known.

The Living-Dead:

Once conscience is dead, what is left of that person becomes brutish.

When you have committed crime repeatedly, you tend not to know the difference between right and wrong. 

When criminals find a way into leadership, the society has more words to describe a crime. Here we have criminal, common criminal and uncommon criminal.

The truth is that A criminal remain a criminal not minding his certificates or lack of degrees. Pen or ATM robber affect the society negatively just as armed robber, kidnapper, fake drug producer will affect the society.

A wife is a wife irrespective of whether she was a cleaner or bank executive, a wife is a wife.

Panacea For Good Life For All:-

Prophet Dawud, A Prophet, A King and A Judge:

٢٦  يَٰدَاوُۥدُ إِنَّا جَعَلْنَٰكَ خَلِيفَةً فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ فَٱحْكُم بَيْنَ ٱلنَّاسِ بِٱلْحَقِّ وَلَا تَتَّبِعِ ٱلْهَوَىٰ فَيُضِلَّكَ عَن سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يَضِلُّونَ عَن سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ شَدِيدٌۢ بِمَا نَسُوا۟ يَوْمَ ٱلْحِسَابِ38: 26  

"O Dawud (David), We made you a ruler in the land, so judge between the people with justice, and do not follow desire, lest it diverts you from the path of Allah. Those who stray from the path of Allah will have a painful punishment, for having ignored the Day of Accountability."

Orderliness helps Growth:

٢٧  وَمَا خَلَقْنَا ٱلسَّمَآءَ وَٱلْأَرْضَ وَمَا بَيْنَهُمَا بَٰطِلًا ۚ ذَٰلِكَ ظَنُّ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا۟ ۚ فَوَيْلٌ لِّلَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا۟ مِنَ ٱلنَّارِ27  

"We did not create the heaven and the earth and everything between them in vain. That is the assumption of those who disbelieve-so woe to those who disbelieve because of the Fire".

The Decent and the Rough:

٢٨  أَمْ نَجْعَلُ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتِ كَٱلْمُفْسِدِينَ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ أَمْ نَجْعَلُ ٱلْمُتَّقِينَ كَٱلْفُجَّارِ28

"Or are We to treat those who believe and do righteous deeds like those who make trouble on earth? Or are We to treat the pious like the shameless?"

The Essence of Life is that the good should be protected from the wicked that are truncating development. That is why hell is for the arrogantly arrogant and AlJannah for the humbly sincere in Faith.

                 Doer of Right Against Wrong Doer

                              Welcoming Both Equally

                                       Is Against Natural Justices

www.islamicfamilyfoundation.org

Family Bond And Obeying Allah Benefit All (Part1)

     When i examine the beautiful stories narrated by Allah (Majesty is His), two capture my heart in a manner that i could for lack of adequate word of description 'engagingly-beautiful'. of all the Prophets and Messengers from Allah mentioned in the Glorious Qur'an; Prophet Ibrahim's (Abraham) family life is full of life and it's lessons. The other is the story of Prophet Yusuf (Joseph) personal life and his siblings.  
                       In The Name of Allah The Eternally Merciful The Especially Merciful
    In this edition, it is my desire to focus on Prophet Ibrahim (a.s), his wives and sons linking the steadfastness of these noble family to the issue of Faith and Trust in Allah.


    Prophet Ibrahim a.s was known to have suffered so much of life travails and, despite all of the challenges , he never falter in his belief and trust in Allah.

    The story of any Prophet or Messenger from Allah is better narrated from the point of view of the Glorious Qur'an.

    The first wife had a delay conceiving. The Angel branch at the Home of Prophet Ibrahim on their way to announce to Prophet Lot his Cousin that Sodomy and Gomorrah will be destroyed due to the people of lot loving obscene thing.

    Before leaving they inform prophet Ibrahim that he will have a Son. His wife overheard the conversation and she mockingly laughed at the announcement of the Messengers of Allah, for obvious reasons.

1. Her husband is elderly and she was then the only wife
2. she is also aged and well above child bearing age. even if there is going to be a child, it "cannot" be from her, she reasoned.

    The two Angels left and time passed, here are the subsequent events:
*Allah put it into the mind of Saarata (Seerah), the only wife then; to encourage her husband to marry the second wife.

*Hajjara (Hagar) was married to Ibrahim a.s; get pregnant and had the first child for Prophet Ibrahim
*Thirteen years plus after the announcement of the Angels; when Ishmael the first son have been tried and test and passed the test;
*The first wife then conceived and gave Ibrahim a.s the second son.

   Moral of the story:
when Allah s.w.t decide to favour you with whatever He has promised
Never let it pass through your mind that it is not possible
if at Saraata feels she is too old at 70 plus; what happened when thirteen years plus was added to 70+ years.

   That is what miracle is all about. Only the owner of the Heavens and the Earth is able to do that. The two Children were blessed and Islam was established through them.

All the first-set of Messengers and Prophets from Allah s.w.t were sent through Isaq (Isaac) a.s;
The Second Son of Ibrahim a.s which happen to be the first child of the first wife Saarata; while the last of the Messengers, Muhammad PBUH, came through the genealogy of Ishmael a.s the first Son from the second wife Hajara; Ishmael happen to be the first child of Prophet Ibrahim

there was a gap of more than thirteen years between the first child of Prophet Ibrahim a.s and the second child

Enjoy your reading

To be followed up later.