Going Into Marriage?

Going Into Marriage?

                    A good way to start is....   

                                   Never Hate Each Otherﷺ.  

                 

In The Name of Allah The Eternally Merciful The Especially Merciful

Today's "Essence of Life" is dedicated to those in marriage, thinking of getting married, about to get marry especially in recent times. 

A poetic statement: 

Marriage is not meant for stupid people.

But stupid people get married anyway

Marriage is not for fools

But foolish people get married anyway

Marriage is not for the silly ones

Silly ones get married anyway

But I tell the intending couple.......

Happy marriage is not meant to be a long dance to the blue Danube

But you can make your marriage a lullaby for you, yours  and the household

Wedding ceremony is cost expended, 

Romance in marriage is drama acted, but 

Happiness in marriage cannot be bought, but 

it is also not free of cost

Marriage is like a bed

As you lay it so you lie on it

Make your bed clean and neat, sweat dream become your and for yours truly

 

Marriage,

  It is not meant for the arrogant too. The stupid and arrogant I tell you will make a mess of boiled egg.

For a marriage to breakup or breakdown, one or both of the partners is either arrogant, foolish or arrogantly foolish.

What is obvious:

It does not matter whether the man is good or the lady is nice, a stupid husband will mess up a clever wife and an arrogant wife will mess up a patient husband. 

Way Out and Maintaining Balance:

When the wife notices the husband is angry, let her appease him

When the husband notices his wife is not pleased with him, he should appease her.

That to me is the reason for coming together. So said one of our noble predecessor 

From The Messenger of Allah:

Never hate each other; never be jealous of each other; never think ill of each other; never boycott each other.  Always remain brothers/sisters unto each other, o servants of Allah. (Muslim)

High Expectation:

The families expects so much from each spouse

The friends both wife and husband expects so much

The truth is that it is when both couple are stable the family is said to build a home. Expectations of people should not be a priority

The Spouses:

The couple rightly so expects so much from the other; Rightly so. 

What couple in marriage need to know is that favors from Allah are not evenly distributed. The need for coming together is to compliment one another especially in terms of needs or lacks, and this needs or lacks varies from time to time.

Patience and Tolerance are not evenly available virtues:

While some are easy to please, some are difficult to please while some are very difficult to please

While some are reasonable, some are very sensible and some are very sensitive 

Marriage is a potpourri of discoveries. In marriage, read yourselves

To those that care to listen to voice of reason, marriage is "work in progress"

Health, wealth, and longevity are as available as Allah wills it and apportion it.

The most intelligent of the two spouse does not determine whom will be financially up

These are blessings Allah determines as He pleases.

The duty of one is the right of the other.

The right of one is therefore the duty of the other

When the expectation is within reason and reliance is on Allah

Your family operates on autopilot whether in scarcity or surplus

Jealousy is a set back

"Beware of jealousy

For verily it destroy good deeds the way fire destroy wood"

What You Need Remember:

"To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth 

And Allah has power over all things" (3:189)

The Muslim Couple Prayer among other prayers:

"Our Lord give us in this world 

That which is good 

And in the hereafter, that which is good

And protect us from the fire of hell" (2:201)

Link:Islamicfamilyfoundation.org

Again The Prophet Speaks:

 "A pious wife who helps you in religious and worldly affair is better than all treasures" Sahih Al-Jami 5355

The essence of life is for you to know that when going into marriage make up your mind to....

Never hate each other; never be jealous of each other; never think ill of each other; never boycott each other.  

If any of this is about to happen or has happened seek help.

At the end of the day:

People may give you great advice, but ultimately, only Allah gives perfect Guidance.

Thanks to Allah for guidance, continuous blessing and peace to the best of mankind and I pray it extend to the sincere followers of the Deen till the day of kiyyamah 

Grow Old Age and in Your Marriage

There is no shame in growing old as the only other alternative is to die young.