Going Into Marriage?
A good way to start is....
Never Hate Each Other
Get Old in Your Marriage
"There is no shame in growing old married as the other alternative is to kill the marriage within your house".
"Essence of Life" is dedicated to those in marriage, thinking of getting married, and about to get married.
When your perception of life is a trouble-free and your perception of married life has a glassy romantic glaze, am begins to pity a character such as that. Pity is the adjective used for want of a better word!
A poetic statement:
Part 1
Marriage is not meant for stupid people.
But stupid people get married anyway
Marriage is not for fools
But foolish people get married anyway
Marriage is not for the silly ones
Silly ones get married anyway
But I tell the intending couple.......
Happy marriage is not meant to be a long dance to the blue Danube
But you can make your marriage a lullaby for you, yours and the household
Part 2
There are things you must do
There are things you must see
There are thing you will see and pretend not to see
There things you will hear and pretend you did not hear
Winning argument will not give you happiness
This is because
Lasting and enduring married life
Is not a fluke
It is work in progress
Part 3
Wedding ceremony is cost expended,
Romance in marriage is drama acted, but
Happiness in marriage cannot be bought, but
it is also not free of cost
Marriage is like a bed
As you lay it so you lie on it
Make your bed clean and neat, sweat dream become yours and for yours truly
Marriage,
It is not meant for the arrogant too. The stupid and arrogant I tell you will make a mess of boiled egg.
For a marriage to breakup or breakdown, one or both of the partners is either arrogant, foolish or arrogantly foolish.
What is obvious:
It does not matter whether the man is good or the lady is nice, a stupid husband will mess up a clever wife and an arrogant wife will mess up a patient husband.
Way Out and Maintaining Balance:
When the wife notices the husband is angry, let her appease him
When the husband notices his wife is not pleased with him, he should appease her.
That to me is the reason for coming together. So said one of our noble predecessor
With The Name of Allah The Eternally Merciful The Especially Merciful
Living in Harmony:
Never hate each other; never be jealous of each other; never think ill of each other; never boycott each other. Always remain brothers/sisters unto each other, o servants of Allah. (Muslim)
High Expectation:
The families expects so much from each spouse
The friends both wife and husband expects so much
The truth is that it is when both couple are stable the family is said to have built a home. Expectations of people should not be a priority
The Spouses:
The couple rightly so expects so much from the other; Rightly so.
What couple in marriage need to know is that favors from Allah are not evenly distributed. The need for coming together is to compliment one another especially in terms of needs or lacks, and this needs or lacks varies from time to time.
Placing material procession on the front burner
Eventually burn the marriage to ashes
Patience and Tolerance are not evenly available virtues:
While some are easy to please, some are difficult to please while some are very difficult to please
While some are reasonable, some are very sensible and some are very sensitive
The most dangerous a relationship is with a person that is easy to anger and difficult to appease
Choose wisely and pray fervently
Marriage is a potpourri of discoveries. In marriage, there is no surprises
To those that care to listen to voice of reason, being married and remaining married is "work in progress"
Health, wealth, and longevity are as available as Allah (Majesty is His) Wills it and apportion it.
The most intelligent of the two spouse does not determine whom will be financially up
Neither is it the most apparently healthy will be the last to depart the earth, uh, but truth must be told for those who cares to listen.
These are things Allah determines as He pleases.
While you are alive:
The duty of one is the right of the other.
The right of one is therefore the duty of the other
When the expectation is within reason and reliance is on Allah
Your family operates on autopilot whether in scarcity or surplus
Jealousy / Anger is a set back
"Beware of jealousy or anger
For verily it destroy good deeds the way fire destroy dried grass"
What You Need Remember:
"To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth
And Allah has power over all things" (3:189)
The Couple's Prayer among other prayers:
"Our Lord give us in this world
That which is good
And in the hereafter, that which is good
And protect us from the fire of hell" (2:201)
Link:Islamicfamilyfoundation.org
On Blog:
Again The Prophet Speaks:
"A pious wife who helps you in religious and worldly affair is better than all treasures" Sahih Al-Jami 5355
Allah says:
The man is the pillar of the woman
This is an enormous responsibility placed on the shoulder of the husband. Taking decision when it matters is included.
The essence of life is for you to know that when going into marriage make up your mind to....
Never hate each other; never be jealous of each other; never think ill of each other; never boycott each other.
If any of this is about to happen or has happened seek help.
At the end of the day:
People may give you great advice, but ultimately, only Allah gives perfect Guidance.
Thanks to Allah for guidance, continuous blessing and peace to the best of mankind and I pray it extend to the sincere followers of the Deen till the day of kiyyamah
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